What is D/s power exchange about anyway?

What is Dom/sub power exchange all about anyway?

My take on it all:

A Dom/sub scene is a set container for one person to fully become a guiding channel for the containment, surrender, healing, pleasure and transformation of the other.

The agreement of a Dominant and a submissive playing, joined with the power of intentional ritual space, calls for a container where the Dom can truly take full permission to guide (and be guided by the Dark Love) within the boundary framework previously agreed on, holding sacred the shared intention of the space.

It’s a dance that, when taking place masterfully and in a well-negotiated space, allows for the wisdom and power of the Dark Love to come through and take the sub on an archetypal or personal journey of surrender, expansion and access to their chaos.

Through the consented act of handing the power to the Dom, for the benefit of the sub, they themselves can journey deeply into a space of no-brain. No decision making. No stress around the million things that keep their mind occupied. In this space, they can sink deeply into the abyss of meaning, bliss and peace. And resource themselves in the power of the Dark Light.

When a submissive becomes adept at negotiating boundaries and desires, at bringing their capacity to actively surrender, and at finding the access point to their true submission, the Dom can deeply attune and listen to the submissive’s body's calls. And find in that sacred whisper desires or needs that they themselves may not have found before.

In this dance, when the Dom learns to attune and trust their connection to the dark light, they can take their submissive on an exquisite trip and offer them pleasure, healing, ecstasy and stillness. And also, wounds may be touched. Trauma - big or small - may be hit. When that happens, a potent portal of transformation opens, and beautiful learning and healing opportunities are available.

In a shamanic kink scene, we learn to hone the life force energy as a powerful expression of the sacred, trusting that the Dark Love wants to bring exactly the energy and medicine required. In order to work with it powerfully, a ritual container needs to be created and all players need to be willing to be with what will present itself in the moment. To be available for what the mystery has in store and embark on the journey.

The more we take an effort to set the ritual scene play container and hold it powerfully, the more our intentions will be fueled by the dark light and the more we can truly savor the deep joys and expansive, purposeful, out-of-the-ordinary experiences available in sacred kink scenes. For this, life force energy needs to be honored and welcomed into a place of power, sweetness, intentionality and surrender. Only through our devotion may we find the true point of power for this medicine to run as a force of the Sacred, and may it pour gratefully from that precious space beyond words or concepts.

The possibilities are truly endless once we open ourselves up to the inspiration of our desires and learn to craft a container for their expression masterfully. This is one of the many things we’ll be doing at the Shamanic Kink Immersion in New York this June.

Join myself and Francesca Gentille for seven days of held and supported deep dives into the precious realms of sacred kink, and learn to express and harness the transformational power of the Dark Love in your life and relationships.